The Hugh Hefner of the 1600s
Tonight, my teacher was tellling us about Anton van Leeuwenhoek, who is often considered to be the father of microbiology for his observations of bacteria with his carefully designed magnifying lens setup. He described him as being, among other things (painter, germaphobe, eccentric, haberdasher), “basically the Hugh Hefner of his time.”
Now, Mr. van Leeuwenhoek certainly sounded like an interesting guy, but I got a little bit confused when my teacher told us about how ol’ Anton was very secretive with the lens design on his microscope, and would invite the Royal Society of London over to look at his things, but insisted that they come in single-file and keep their hands in their back pockets, “much like Hugh Hefner,” so that no one would steal his microscope to analyze.
Huh? Hugh Hefner makes people walk around with their hands in their pockets? So they don’t steal…what, pictures of women? Sooo confused. We move on to other men and women in the history of microbiology (Louis Pasteur is basically responsible for the wine industry in France. Yay, Louis!), finish lecture, go to lab, come home.
I start telling J about how I really like this teacher, and how he goes more in depth on these historical figures than the textbook does. I start telling him everything the teacher told us about Anton van Leeuwenhoek, and he was the Hugh Hefner of his time. We laughed at that. Then I admit my confusion about him making sure the Royal Society fellows didn’t steal his inventions, and start to ask what the Hugh Hefner connection is.
J interrupts me.
“He’s talking about Howard Hughes! Howard Hughes is the paranoid, eccentric, germaphobic billionaire, not Hugh Hefner!”
We both die laughing. I briefly wonder if it’s at all possible that I misheard or misinterpreted my teacher. Lucky for us, I record my lectures. I just pulled out my recorder and played the clip for J. Sure enough, the teacher was saying Hugh Hefner. The second he did, J says, “Oh my GOD, he’s talking about HOWARD HUGHES.”
So we’ve established that I was hearing him correctly. What is yet to be determined is whether or not I’ll ever be able to convince my husband that my new teacher is, in fact, pretty damn awesome.
Three months? Really?
I knew my life was chaotic, but I had no idea it had been so long since I’d found the time to write.
My hellish spring semester ended last Monday, and one of my goals for my offtime was to start writing again. Well, that plan was foiled by all the catching up on real life activities that had to be done. Well, not HAD to be done, as I suppose that my clothes were still technically in working order, though I really preferred them to be clean. And then J went to Las Vegas this weekend, and I’m always abnormal when he’s out of town. I went shopping with my best friend, and painted part of my kitchen. Yes, the same in-need-of-paint kitchen that I was bitching about over a year ago.
Which, if I may indulge in a small tangent, reminds me of the song Bitchin’ in the Kitchen, from Shock Treatment, the pseudosequal to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Bizzare, yet hilarious.
And, for the record, of course this song has never made me randomly start singing to inanimate kitchen appliances! That would be crazy!
Ahem.
Anyway, best laid plans of mice and men and all of that…long story short, I wrote nary a word on my break. And, as of 5:30 last night, I am back in school again. Not even a full week’s break. This time around, I’ve only got one class, Microbiology, but it meets four times a week for 3-1/2 hours a night. The good news is that if I get an A in this class, I’ll have a 4.0 GPA in my science classes, which is what the nursing program cares more about than the overall GPA. I’ll take Medical Terminology and CPR For Healthcare Providers in late summer, take my TEAS test, and then turn in my application for nursing school in September. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be starting nursing school in January!
