Warm and fuzzy
Folks, it’s been one hell of a week, let me tell you. There was more fighting and screaming and hurt under my roof than there ever has been. I thought my marriage was over. But, somehow, we pulled through it, and now we’re actually better than we have been in a LONG time.
I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m not saying it’s a miraculous recovery. We’re not ignoring what happened, and we’re not ignoring the issues that caused the blow-up in the first place.
Neither one of us realized how little we talk these days. I can’t blame it entirely on school, but I do think that that’s a big part of it. But even without school, we haven’t been talking much. He’s on his computer and I’m on mine, and we haven’t been doing much together. We desperately needed both hobbies and communication.
As fucked up as it sounds, I’m almost grateful that things got so bad on Tuesday. The little fights never did anything to change us, to encourage us to work harder. They were easy to ignore. This one was not. Not at all. The fact that it was bad enough that I actually started telling people about it blows my mind. Anyway, it seems to have been a huge wake-up call for both of us. No, our marriage is not instantly fixed. But you know what? Neither of us wants to lose what we have, and we’re both determined to get back to what we were. We both married our best friends. We’ve both said that we want our best friends back. So that’s what we’re working on.
The past few days have been incredible. He’s been so thoughtful, kind, and passionate. I’ve started telling him every detail of my life. We’ve both come up with new things for us to do together. We’re able to look back at our fight and talk about how we felt, and why we did the things we did. I can actually see and understand his side of it, and he can actually do the same for mine.
No, we’re not fixed. But we’re better than we’ve been in months, if not years. And to top it all off, we’re running around the house like newlyweds. Ahem. It’s good. It’s good to have that back. My god, I’ve missed him. And with that…I’ve got something that I suddenly need to go do.
Cricky said,
January 26, 2009 at 10:47 am
Joe and I went through a similar issue in October of 2006. Bad enough that I was staying at my parents house and he was staying at our house because we couldn’t be in the same house without spewing hateful words.
We were set for a divorce and had begun preparations when my sister/bff called one night and said hey I need you to come over for a few minutes. I did and when I got there she had done the same thing to him. She locked us in the house and wouldn’t let us leave until everything was out in the open. We had to begin slowly rebuilding because there was a lot of hurt but it helped tremendously. Like I said before, I’m always here if you need a shoulder and I’m praying for you guys to have the strength and courage to build your marriage back up.