somefatchick

Do you ever have so many things to say that words explode from your fingertips, leaving a big wordy mess that’s impossible to post, both because it goes into way too much detail AND because you haven’t explained things nearly enough? That’s the point that I’m at tonight. I want to explain my feelings about getting an email from an ex, and why he’s been on my mind lately, but when I started writing about it, I kind of exploded. I’ve never mentioned him before, and it felt necessary to give at least a bit of background on us. Then I fast-forwarded to explain the last time we talked, and how that came to be. Then I tried vaguely explaining why I wanted to talk to him, but had to pause to explain why a certain Dateline show has caused me to feel weird about things in my past, memories that have never been anything but good. (That is its own long-awaited post, one that I’ve had trouble writing on multiple occasions.) And, of course, I have to explain why none of it means anything, but it feels like it might mean something, and how I wish I could tell J about the email, but he’s sleeping, and I don’t know what to do. And that’s just the half of it.

So I’ve got this would-be post that’s getting longer by the second, threatening to explode its wordy goo all over somefatchick.com, with nary a point in sight. Do I trim back the unnecessary? Do I go into even more detail, so it makes more sense? Do I post a series of shorter posts, leading up to my point? Do I scrap it all and start writing the whole thing over again, hoping that Pam’s method of giving Michael a test-run on phone calls will work for my writing as well?

Or do I simply leave the post sitting there, open up a new tab, and explain this frustrating writing process to you in a slightly manic-y, confusing post? Yes, that one.