March 2008
Can you believe it? I walked every single day this month. J walked with me for at least 25 of those days. More than that, but I don’t have an exact number. It has been great. The past 2 days have been super shitty, hot and very humid, but we’ve walked 30 minutes both nights. I know that in a few months, nights like that will be a relief. That’s why I’m so desperate to get in the walking habit, why I’ve been pushing myself so hard during the cold/nice months.
I’ve never successfully carried a weight loss streak into the summertime. Never. Summer in Texas is just too horrible for exercise. Unless, maybe, you’re already addicted to it? If it’s such a part of your daily routine that you actually feel like you’re missing out on days that you skip it? That’s the point that I’m aiming towards.
I’ve also noticed (well, we both have) that our walking intensity has increased significantly in the past few days. I’m not sure if that’s because our bodies have built up, or because we’ve been so pumped up with adrenaline while discussing the crazy ass stuff that’s been going.
We wore the dog out tonight. She was lagging so far behind. Then we’d start trash-talking her, so she’s run up ahead of us by a few steps, challenging us to push ourselves harder. We would, and then she’d lag behind again, knowing she had done her job. Silly girl.
I’m loving it!
Not McDonalds. Nancy Drew shit. Yes, I’m still going on about it. I’m also trying to figure out how to let you in on the juicy story, without compromising my anonymous research.
This afternoon I found a new document, one that was confirmed to be in MIL’s name. It had an address listed that was a PO Box that we immediately recognized. We had found multiple properties in multiple counties that we had believed to be hers. The name was lacking a middle initial, and it listed this mysterious PO Box as the address, and we had no way of proving that it was her, just a feeling. And then suddenly WHAM! We had the missing piece. Suddenly, all these puzzle pieces flew together to form a more cohesive picture. And not a good picture.
I dread going to work tomorrow. I told J that it’s like I have to go give a big presentation. Except that the presentation is going to completely shake up everything in the family, and not in a good way. Not in a good way at all.
Up to my ears
I think my head is about to explode.
We just got home from our senatorial district convention. My, oh my, oh my, what a day. Allow me a run-on sentence: drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama oh dear lord drama drama drama. And then? Just to be different? A big scoop of drama. I was going to write about it, but I just realized that I can’t do it tonight. I lived it, I relived it on our drive home, on our walk, and in our house. I relived it when J’s parents called to ask about it, and I’ll relive it again tomorrow, when we go over to their house for the afternoon.
Add this to my investigation from yesterday, on top of other things in life that I haven’t discussed, and I just have to laugh. There’s nothing I can do but laugh, at this point, because this shit, this dramatic shit, is piled on SO HIGH that I can’t see over the top. And I can’t walk away from any of it. I’m committed.
I’m committed to researching the crazy whack job, because my boss told me all about him and I, truly being Nancy Drew at heart, said, “Oh, let me take all this information about him and his aliases and mysterious information and see what I can find online for you.” And I’m loving it, I have to admit. I love a good mystery, and I love getting to the bottom of things. Every time we think the story can’t get any weirder, we find another piece of information that turns everything we already know completely upside down. I’ve got a dozen dots, all over the board, and I’m itching for a way to connect them all. I’ve been in contact with a lady in Queens to investigate the possible identity theft. I’ve got half a mind to drive a few hours south of here to check out a few locations that came up in my research. J and I joked about drawing a big, elaborate flow chart, connecting all the information. It’s crazy. It’s absolutely nuts. It’s disturbing. It’s scary. But it’s a little fun, too.
No, no, no, no drama
There used to be a lot of drama in my life, back in my younger days…(note to self: you’re 26! stop sounding like you’re eighty!)…I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but looking back, I can see that it’s true. Not only was I surrounded by drama at all times, I was often wrapped up in it myself. Okay, not so much “wrapped up in” as “completely fucking tangled”. Ah, teenagerhood.
Because of all this, I tend to avoid drama these days. Sure, a little bit of drama is fun, but I think I got burned out. At any rate, I certainly didn’t go looking for drama, but it seems to have accidentally taken a giant crap in my lap.
My boss told me this morning that, according to either her mother-in-law or her mother-in-law’s nutso boyfriend, in September all the banks are going to close (so get your money out and stash it in your house), and all Americans are going to be forced out of our homes and into camps. Um, what?
Oh, oh, oh, if only it had stopped there. The former paragraph sounds positively dull compared to the shit I’ve been digging up tonight.
I hate that I’m about to be vague, but that’s anonymity for you. Suffice it to say that, combined with her stories of Nutso Man from this morning and my deep internet searching tonight, I have now dealt with potential probable dead-guy identity theft, tax fraud, suspicious power of attorney documents, secret land deals, extreme white supremacy, stupidity, multiple post office boxes, fake addresses, aliases, more secret land deals, the town crazy guy, houses with no modern conveniences (such as that newfangled electricity), possible kidnapping plots, suspicious voter records, mummified remains, illegal burial, short-wave radio, and extremely bad taste in men.
But, man, did my miniature bottle of Hazelnut Kahlua taste delicious!
Disappointment
Sometimes when I type a word, it just looks funny. To make sure that I’ve got my spelling right, I often just type it into the google search box on my toolbar. Since they automatically suggest search terms, complete with spelling correction, this comes in quite handy. Of course, it’s also good for quite a few laughs.
Take just now, for example, when I searched for “disappoint”. I got the following matches:
- disappointment with god
- disappointed by candy
- disappointed poems
- disappointment cleaver
- disappointed love
- disappointed synonyms
- disappointed thesaurus
- disappointed in spanish
- disappointed at you
- disappointing synonyms
I like intentionally reading things wrong too, like “disappointed in spanish” – because the language doesn’t quite live up to my expectations. Or “disappointing synonyms” – because the words I needed to wow you just didn’t come up…only these crappy synonyms.
And I totally get the “disappointed by candy” one. I think those people must have also tried the Flavor Point Diet, because at this point, none of the old candy tastes as good anymore. Hence, the apple addiction I’ve mentioned. Don’t get me wrong, I still like candy. I’m just not as nuts about it as I used to be.
Crunch time
I’m in the middle of a huge project for one of my jobs, and I’ve got to have everything submitted tomorrow morning, first thing. I came home from work late, immediately logged on for a chatroom meeting, and have been there ever since. J heated up dinner (the part that I had already cooked) and brought it to me, but I didn’t even eat all of it. Not to mention that half of the dinner never got cooked in the first place. The plate looked quite meager to begin with, and then half of it was left over. Now I’m starving, my back is aching, and I’m totally stressed. It will all be okay.
This “job” I speak of? It may, in fact, be the one with the fictional paper company. Hey, leave me alone. I never claimed to be cool.
Free charm!
Lean Cuisine is giving away pretty charms that say “live laugh celebrate”. I read about them in a Hungry Girl email, and wanted to share the URL with you. So click here to get your own charm, and possibly some coupons too.
You may want to sign up for HG while you’re at it. She’s great about reviewing all the new healthy foods that come out, and she constantly makes recipe swaps as well. I don’t always agree with her (for instance, I believe that Mint Karaoke Cookie ice cream is THE BEST in the Dreyer’s American Idol line), but overall, she’s pretty awesome.
Weekly updates
I just noticed that my laptop screen is truly disgusting. I swear it wasn’t like this yesterday. What the hell?
So I realize that I never got around to posting my weight last week. I weighed in today, though, at 282.0. Yes, that’s a 3.2 lb increase from my last update. Frankly, I was expecting more than that. Last week was actually 282.4, I think, and then I had a crazy week with lots of eating out, birthday, and Easter, and all the crap, cake, and candy that goes with such things. I’m proud that I managed to lose a bit through all that, and am eager to get those other 3 pounds off so I can be back on track!
We’re still walking every day, which has been wonderful. I know that’s what is really saving me from gaining back more weight. You should see our March calendar. It’s awesome. I’m so proud of us! J, by the way, weighed in at 248.8. I can’t remember what he started off at, but he’s finally seeing some good progress, now that he’s doing the exercising too. I can tell a difference in both of our bodies.
Of course, I look at the pictures from our anniversary party and am appalled by my image, so I know that I’ve still got a long way to go. Still, progress feels good. It looks good too. I just wish my mother-in-law would stop saying, “You’re getting sooo skinny!” all the time. Yes, I’ve lost weight. But “skinny” is just not a word that can be used to describe my body, period. I appreciate the compliments, but I’m not skinny. I don’t ever want to be skinny. Just much smaller and healthy. “Healthy” is my true goal. I’m far from it, but I’m getting there.
Infested
One of our ferrets got fleas last night. Well, I suppose technically I don’t know when he got them, but we first saw them last night. After some quick research yielded the fact that ferrets can get severely anemic if bitten by several fleas, we began a mad dash around the house. As I lamented the fact that we had to go to Wal-Mart at 10 p.m. on a Sunday to buy kitten-safe flea shampoo, I realized that I should check the cat flea shampoo that we have, just in case. Safe for cats and kittens. Whew! I double checked all the ingredients, then we got to work.
Poor Sniffy. He was in the middle of a bath when we noticed the fleas. A bath with regular shampoo, before we knew that we had flea shampoo in the house. Then Mister got a bath with flea shampoo, then it was Sniffy’s turn again. Poor guy. We let Hazel go last, and then J put new flea medication on the dog (she was due anyway) while I dried off the three fuzzies.
Tonight, I saw the cat scratching madly. Greeeat. Scruffed her up, J trimmed her nails, and we threw her in the tub. I am so, so, so sad that I didn’t take pictures this time. Here’s one from the first time.
She’s actually very well behaved in the bathtub, considering the fact that she’s a crazy-ass cat. And she was pretty cooperative with the blow-drying as well.
…What, do normal people not blow-dry their cats?
A couple shots of vodka go a long way…
…when you’re not used to drinking!
I haven’t been drinking since I started charting my basal temperatures, because the alcohol can screw up my numbers too much. I want an accurate chart. Yesterday, for the first time since starting FAM, I got a confirmed ovulation. I wanted a definitely-for-sure confirmation, so I waited until this morning’s temperature to celebrate.
Celebrate, indeed. I feel empowered with the knowledge that my body has already ovulated and I cannot possibly get pregnant until my next cycle. It’s powerful. I love it. And I rewarded myself with a drink, mostly so J will have to put up with my goofy drunk ass. Tee hee. I love to torture him. Because I love him so very, very much. Now, I hate to cut this short, but I have a date.
P.S. Kashi Country Cheddar crackers are awesome. I always hated cheez-its, cheese nips, and all those other cheese-flavored crackers, but these are simply amazing. Light and crunchy and covered in a light dusting of cheese dust. Buy them.
