297 and counting (10 down, lots to go)
I didn’t weigh last week, partially because I had workers at my house & didn’t even get to go shower, and partially because I had been eating badly and just didn’t want to see the numbers. I still didn’t want to see them today, but I knew that I needed to weigh myself before Thanksgiving at least. So, after my husband jumped on the scales, I shooed him out of the room and jumped on myself. I was shocked and thrilled to see it at 297. I was so scared that I gained weight, so to lose 3.5 lbs was sooo exciting!
And after that, on the ride to the office, I finally confessed my true weight to husband. First I made him guess it, and he guessed 260. I just laughed. It felt good though. Then he guessed 285, and I still laughed. I was kinda starting to feel bad, and told him that I changed my mind about telling him. He said to give him the middle number, which I said was the worst, but told him it was 2×7. He said it was either 7, 8, or 9, then guessed 287, then 277. I finally told him, but he wasn’t that surprised. He said he figured I was around 300. I thanked him for guessing low. I knew that it didn’t really matter if he knew the exact number, really, since he already knew and loved my body. He just agreed. God, he is wonderful. I feel wonderful.
Things I am concerned about: Thanksgiving, my birthday next week, my mom’s birthday, and the Non-Denominational Winter Holiday Festive Dinner that I plan on hosting with lots of yummy food.
But you know what? I’m back in the 2’s for the first time in over a year, and I do NOT want to go back. So I’ll just have to be good. Oh, and I signed up for the kraftfoods.com personalized food & exercise plan. The exercises are soo easy that even *I* should be able to keep up. EX: today’s goal is “Walking (slow) 15 min & Standing Leg Lifts 10″. How hard is that? Happy, happy girl. I’m gonna do this!
Have a happy, healthy Thanksgiving!
I wasn’t that into titles, anyway
this weekend has been horrible. well, foodwise. otherwise, it was wonderful. but the point is…i HAVE to exercise. have to, have to, have to.
i’m thisclose to showing my journal to my husband. i wanted to wait until i was a couple pounds under 300, because i don’t want him to be conscious of having a 300 lb wife. nobody can guess my weight. he thinks i’m about 30 lbs less…not because i TOLD him that, but just because he thinks so. anyway, i feel sneaky not letting him know, so i want to show this to him soon.
besides…the man sees me naked for hours at a time, in every room, in every light. he KNOWS what my body looks like. why is it so weird to have him know the weight of it? i mean, i look & feel the same regardless of the actual number. and he DOES love me & my body. i just don’t want him to go into shock, i think. well…i do want him to be shocked, but i’d rather be UNDER 300 when he finds out how much i did weigh.
heh. i remember when i weighed 218 and completely flipped out. i wrote it in eyeliner on a little scrap of paper & vowed to not be that weight anymore. well, i won – just not like i had planned. lol. now 218 sounds incredible. that’s it. 218 is my new goal…and it sounds more attainable than my ideal weight, so it doesn’t feel IMPOSSIBLE to do. so maybe i’ll hit it, then make a new goal. YEAH! 218.
IT IS INSANE THAT 218 POUNDS SOUNDS SOOO INCREDIBLY SMALL TO ME. i can’t wait for the day that 218 sounds fat again. because that will mean that i’m smaller than that…and woo!
Nearly 3 years later & I still haven’t answered this question…
Here’s something to try. Go to the pantry (or store, if you’re not a cook) and get a full bag of flour. Now stick it in your pants and try to walk around. Five pounds is a LOT! It weighs a lot, and you can feel it holding you down. Yet, about a month ago, I was carrying that, plus a little more around 24 hours a day. Wow. Now I KNOW that I don’t want it back. It’s not comfortable. And Jesus, five pounds in flour form sure seems like more than in human fat form.
Which brings me to the question of the day.
When we lose weight…where does it go? Sweat? Poop? Vanish into thin air? I don’t know! But I just can’t figure out how 6.5 lbs of fat has escaped my body, seemingly without my knowledge. It’s been on my mind all day, so I’m off to research. Ta!
This one wasn’t cool enough for a title either
I weighed in this morning at 300.5 and felt oh-so-proud of myself. I didn’t want to weigh myself today. I even told my husband that I was going to skip this week. Isn’t that awful? It’s just that I’ve been getting into that damn candy (yeah, it’s still in the house) the past couple nights, and I STILL haven’t exercised at all. But when I finished blow-drying my hair this morning, I just decided that I HAD to get on the scales. And guess what? I lost another pound since last Thursday. Woo!
That’s a total of 6.5 lbs in the last 5 weeks…not as good as I’d hoped, but at least it’s steady. Usually when I decide to lose weight, I drop 20 in the first month, then get proud of myself and fall off (then go on to gain it back, plus some, in the following year, until I decide to repeat the vicious cycle). Right now I’m happy for me, but not proud enough to give it up! Just think…I’m 1/2 of a pound away from being in a whole different hundred! I want to lose a couple pounds this week, so I’m not balancing on the 300 point for long. And if I’ve lost some more by the time I weigh next week…*shivers*…that will be incredible. I can’t WAIT to fit into size 8 underwear…they have a pack of low-rise Care Bears panties that I’m dying for. I may ask for them from Santa so that I have some definite motivation…I’ve been eyeing those things for months!
Man, I just KNOW that if I can lose this much weight just by not eating unless I’m hungry (and I still eat crap, believe me)…imagine if I started exercising multiple times a week! Or if I started taking the effort to make salad at night or something. Then the pounds could come flying off! Not too fast though, because that’s when I get cocky and it all falls to hell. I WON’T LET THAT HAPPEN THIS TIME.
-some fat chick
what i’ve eaten today (because I knew everyone cared)
I’ve decided that I need to just start inputting everything that I eat. Maybe I can spot something bad and fix it. Anyway, here’s what I’ve eaten today:
Nature Valley Chewy Trail Mix Bar:
Calories: 140
Fat: 4g
Carbohydrate: 25g
Protein: 3g
GV Chewy Trail Mix Bar:
Calories: 140
Fat: 4g
Carbohydrate: 24g
Protein: 3g
Lo-Carb Monster Energy Drink: (2 drinks x 2 servings each)
Calories: 40
Carbohydrates: 12g
Oroweat Health Nut bread (2 slices)
Calories: 200
Fat: 4g
Cabohydrate: 36g
Protein: 8g
Turkey, Broccoli, and Cheese Lean Pocket
Calories: 270
Fat: 7g
Carbohydrate: 39g
Protein: 13g
That’s what I’ve eaten so far.
TOTAL
Calories: 790
Fat: 19g
Carbohydrate: 135g
Protein: 24g
I didn’t feel like this one needed a title, apparently
I played with some health calculators online. Interesting results. Apparently, I’m supposed to be eating:
Calories: 3083 a day
Fat: 102g or 935 calories a day, or less
Protein: 115g or 462 calories a day
Carbohydrates: 423g or 1695 calories a day
Jesus Christ! With these guidelines, I’m SURE to stay “underbudget”. And this was rating my height, weight, and activity level, which i rated at sedentary…i put mild activity, but that put me at 3500 calories a day, and holy shit. That’s a lot! So I changed it…but it still seems high. I will strive for much less.
back down to 301.5!
I guess I forgot to post again last week, but I weighed in at 304. GODDAMN IT! I hadn’t even been bad that week. *sigh*
But life goes on – and guess what! This week, I’m back down to 301.5, mostly thanks to completely avoiding Halloween. I was supposed to go give out candy at my mom’s, but I realized that she had boxes of Little Debbies and rarely had trick-or-treaters…meaning I would end up eating most of them and telling her she had more kids stop by than really did. I was actually PLANNING this! When I realized it, it made me sick and I decided I was absolutely not going to her house that weekend. Kaching! It worked. My ENTIRE halloween candy was 1 mini-butterfinger from ma-in-law and a tiny box of nerds later. Still no exercise, other than scrubbing an entire bathroom (which DID get pretty sweaty) to museum cleanliness. This week it’s VERY nice outside, so I really, really, REALLY want to go for a walk. So I’m going to!
